Clinton County Republican Party

Happy Thanksgiving! This is the holiday where the pilgrims gave thanks to God (not to the Indians) for providing for them, but you don't hear much about that. But now, we can also give thanks to Janet Napolitano, because she is looking out for your turkey. After all, if it weren't for the Department of Homeland Security, the dangers of the deep fryer would be ravaging the nation.

Wait, what is DHS doing talking about fryers? Shouldn't they be looking out for terrorists or directing TSA agents to molest children? Oh, that is sooo 2001. We have bigger fish to fry… just don't do it in a deep fryer. Perhaps baking a nice tofu turkey and some organic sprouts would be best.

…

So an Occupy Wall Street hooligan passed a note to Obama. I thought for sure the note would say:

"We love what you're doing with the country. Keep it up! Love, the dregs of society."

But no, it was some comment about how Obama keeping silent was hurting the cause of the proletariat.  Look, OWS guys, Obama is on your side, so quit being so hard on the guy. It's hard work destroying the country in four years, give the guy a break. Sure, the 1911 revolution in Russia was relatively fast, but that style just isn't going to work here.

…

Back to fish. A man caught an 881 pound tuna, but the feds seized it because of some permit issues. Give me liberty, or give me a fish, and then take it away because liberty doesn't include that type of fish. So even if you teach a man to fish so he can eat for a lifetime, he may not be able to keep it. But that is what food stamps are for.

Happy thanksgiving - I hope your deep fryer doesn't catch on fire and the feds don't seize your turkey!